God
has been calling me to write for some time now.
I have felt a nudge to either pick up a pen and write, or sit behind my
laptop and start typing away. Now, I’ll be honest, it is not the first time
that I have heard a call, and absolutely refused to be obedient. I have allowed
all of the stories of not enough, not smart enough, not small enough, not
ready, blah, blah, blah to run a muck in my head. But tonight, was different. I
could no longer ignore the urge that I felt in my heart after I posted a Facebook
post about an experience I had today. It was like the words were just ready to
pour from my soul. I had so much I wanted to say, and more importantly willing
to say.
You
see I started this blog thing years ago, 2009 to be exact. Needless to say I really
never did anything with it. One post and that was it. Back then I felt as
though I needed the right logo, layout, an editor to look over every word, and a
marketing company to make sure that it ranked at the top of Google and was
promoted the right way to get the right amount of traffic to it. In the past
these were all of the things I told myself I needed to have in place before I
put myself out into the world. It just had to be perfect. But tonight, there is
something different. I have no idea what I am writing about, I have no editor,
only Barb aka Mom (excuse the typos and spelling) or marketing company, no
fancy marketing or strategy plan. It is just God, myself, and the computer in my
most raw and vulnerable way. Putting myself out there to the world. I give
myself away for him to use me. Here I am, open, available and ready to serve.
Finally to the point where I realize that God can do it much better than me.
I
don’t know what topic I am going to talk about, I have no clue as to how often.
All I know is that I am willing. I am committed to writing when he tells me to.
I’ll say, or write whatever comes through me.
A willing vessel, because honestly at this point in my life that is all
I have to give. Just me, just me, Oh Lord.
A
couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with a young lady who invited
me to do a webinar about “my story”. We were having a pre meeting and I was
sharing with her a version, of my story, because Lord knows there are so many.
After I finished, she then began to tell me her story, when for the most part
sounded just like mine. Surprise. Surprise. So in true business coaching
fashion I proceeded to ask her why did she not share her story, and that she
should brand herself and a part of that brand is her story. And from a personal
branding perspective she needed to share her story first before inviting others
on her site to share theirs. So by the end, I pretty much talked myself out of a
speaking gig. LOL. But you know the message is always for the messenger, right?
Now I am asking myself, why are you not
sharing your story Sharita? Why are you not opening up to allow others to
really see you? Not just the things you have done, you? Why aren’t you telling your
story? My natural response is, “which one?” Cause I have too many chapters in
my book of life, it all depends on which one you choose to read. How about the
chapter on business, or teaching, or being a single mother, getting divorced,
having it all (whatever “It” is) and loosing it, and getting it back and loosing
it again? So, so many stories to share and I feel as though God is calling me
to write about them all. And this is where is begins, again.
Now you might ask where is all of this coming from all of a sudden. Well, this was triggered because I posted a Facebook post about an experience I had today as I was driving home. See I was one my way from God knows were where….
“a black female
proceeds to cut a car off in the lane next to me and then stops in the middle
of the road because he is honking his horn. She then proceeds to flick him off
while holding up traffic on a busy street. Upon doing so the driver then turns
on his siren as he is a police officer in an unmarked car. Instead of going
about my way, I made a u-turn and parked in a lot close to where he had pulled
her over, with my camera ready. Funny how circumstances in society change your
reaction to situations as I would have never done that in the past. After
waiting about ten minutes I see another car parked as if it too were waiting.
So I pull up next to it, roll down my window and ask if she was keeping an eye
on things . She nodded yes. Who says sisters don't look out for one
another? I am not my sister's keeper, I am my sister." (my original
FB post from earlier today).
Yes, there are
implications about that state of the nation and all that is going on in regards
to law enforcement and issues of racial discrimination. There are huge lessons around that. But as I
was writing the post and responding to replies, God showed me how there were
some bigger lessons. Lessons about how he is always protecting me, and
providing for me. How He will send an army of angels to surround me, to protect
me, even when I misbehave. A lesson about the grace that I live, dwell, and
abide in. How my life is a life of service and that I never know when I am
going to be called to serve. When I am going to be asked to give of myself, my
time, and to serve my fellow brother or sister. People I do not even know,
strangers on the street.
All things are
lessons that God would have me learn. This situation is no different. He is
always, always, always, sending me a wink. It is up to me to pay attention.
Until next time.
Whenever that may be.
